INTROSPECT YOUR LIFE :( -> :)

"When I was a child, I wanted to draw like an adult.
When I became an adult, I always wanted to draw like a child."

These are the words of the famous artist Pablo Picasso.
When I first heard these words from my very adorable teacher Miss Flower, I was in my 7th standard and at that time, I didn't quite see much logic in it. Now 7 years later,I have understood the meaning of these words like never before. My passion for various things might have evolved over the years, from books to music to swimming to.......Science? but there is still a part of me that longs for that old love for art and childhood days, when even if you make a rectangular shape orange your parents and teachers appreciate it.
This life has got something for everyone in the world, and as they say we all have a purpose here. But what would you say about people who commit suicide??
Yesterday,in our college, we had a condolence of one of our juniors (2nd semester) who committed suicide for some unknown reason. The boy who was supposed to be enthusiastic and optimistic about his new college, new place and plethora of opportunities waiting for him further ahead on the road of life, committed suicide!!!
It feels strange when I hear students committing suicide because of studies, failure in life or betrayal from friends, and it feels even more strange when people say, the person must be weak to commit an act as childish as suicide. Well, they can never understand the real circumstances. I have always believed that we all are worth something, not necessarily a Doctor, Engineer or a Pilot but a different, still, an equally important identity. But when people around you stop believing in your abilities (not necessarily by saying so), you too, soon, stop believing in yourself. And when someone suddenly says or does something to show that she/he has faith in your capabilities, you are both OVERWHELMED and SCARED to the point of just wanting to give up everything. Overwhelmed that here you have a person who believes in you, and scared that you just might let him down too.

The pressure of society not only forces a child to end his life but also to loose that special ability and identity. I do not know how many(if any) parent(s) will read this article but I really want to request them all, that rather to compare your child to his/her cousins or friends or anybody for that matter, you may please appreciate his abilities and support him in something he is best at... like you did when he was kid... and tell him you are there. Even if he is not like someone you have wanted him to !!!

I HAVE LEARNED FROM LIFE !!!

It's a weird weird life. when you expect so much, it gives you a little and when you sit down with zero hope, it provides more than you have wished for. Though I am just 20 yrs and not old enough to explain what to expect from this unexpected life. But there are few things I have learned that I would love to share.

* Lord Buddha said, 'We achieve peace through meditation' yet I have learned, the most beautiful and peace giving thing in the world is to watch a little child asleep.

* Share everything you want to in life with friends and with people you care for but never trust someone who says, ' trust me I can keep this secret'.

* No matter how rich we become, we can never buy what really matters in life.

* Sometimes crying is best response (especially in front of men :P).

* There will always be someone in your life who annoys you no matter where you are and you will love it eventually and miss him when he is not there.

* Mostly it's better to shut up but sometimes it's necessary to argue.

* May be we should never let go of our deepest desire. But I have learned- letting go is the only way to keep something or someone in life.

* It's good to be yourself and maintain your dignity. But I have learned - The word 'WE' always sounds better than the word 'I'.

* We will always come across many intolerable people but there's still a difference between being angry and being cruel.

* One thing I wish I had learned when I was small is that - I wish I could have told my mom dad that I love them more number of times (which i do now).

Two things I have learned in my TEENS :

* Never take life casually (esp during your 12th standard). Its not a piece of cake.

* And finally - Do not go around with a guy very early in your life. Results can be hazardous. :P

was this post lengthy ??? :P

FIRST DAY OF MY THIRD YEAR

For the first time, I disclose, in my blog that I am an engineering student. I might not look very old and a glimpse of me would make you think that she is a girl of 11th standard yet I an a third year engineering student.
Today was my first day of 3rd year, 5th semester. I wasn't much excited about it and didn't expected much yet with high spirits and little hopes I got ready early in the morning (at 8 am) and reached the college.
My branch is computer science and I was glad to know that all our subjects are related to computers. Finally. We were tired of studying subjects based on electronics.
The first class was of 'Operating System' it was all Greek yet I didn't sleep. Kudos to me. Second and third classes were lab periods but there was nothing to do as nothing was taught.
None of my friends were with me in my batch and so I wrote this post in the lab itself. I don't think anything exciting or even near to exciting will happen but I am not disappointed as I had not expected much. Instead I am happy as I have memories of Kashmir which still mesmerize me. This beautiful trip has given me a lot of happiness and memories to escape from the boredom of this "FIRST DAY OF MY THIRD YEAR"

LIFE MOVES ON

Something happened today.
One of our hostelmates left the hostel as she got a job in Dubai.
Good for her and we all are very happy too yet there is something which has occupied my mind since she left.
Life is full of leaving your near and dear ones behind, showing courage and moving on.
I live far away from my parents and even when I miss them I need to be rational and move on.
I live far away from my brother and even when I miss him I have to understand and move on.
People come and if you get attached to them you need to show so much of courage when they leave and move on.
All these things in life tend to make you more rational and prudent. It actually teaches you not to let your emotion overpower your thinking and actions because at the end of the day the ultimate truth, as in Henry Miller's words, is
"Life moves on, whether we act as cowards or heroes. Life has no other discipline to impose, if we would but realize it, than to accept life unquestioningly. Everything we shut our eyes to, everything we run away from, everything we deny, denigrate or despise, serves to defeat us in the end. What seems nasty, painful, evil, can become a source of beauty, joy, and strength, if faced with an open mind. Every moment is a golden one for him who has the vision to recognize it as such."

Today while flipping through some short stories online I came across this small story which provoked such thoughts in me that I felt like sharing it with you all.
It goes like this...
"Lovely watch! exclaims the youngster looking at my wristwatch and then stares at it fascinated, "You can see into it, what's all that machinery? "
"It's a winding watch," I tell him, "What you see inside is the machinery that converts the wind into actually running the small hand, the big one and the seconds hand!
"A winding watch?" asks the same youngster now staring at my apparatus with unconcealed fascination, "You mean you got to wind it to run it?"
"Yep, every morning without fail, hold wind between thumb and finger and keep winding till it gets difficult. One wind lasts twenty-four hours!"
I look at him staring at my watch with focused concentration and my thoughts wander to other things at home one used to wind to keep working. I remember the old grandfather's clock that tick-tocked its way through my childhood; it had belonged to my granddad and came home after his death. I'd watched curiously as my father wound it every Saturday and then one day he'd turned to me, "Want to wind it Bob?"
"Sure," I said and from that day the job was mine and I continued doing it diligently till the day it just stopped working.
"Uncle!"
I looked around, then realized uncle was me, "What happens if you forget to wind it?
Ah! but you don't!"
"No, you don't. You wind the watch as soon as you get up, It's like brushing your teeth," I tell him.
You never forgot to wind your watch! And you didn't forget to wind the grandfather clock on Saturday. You just didn't. There was no cell phone to beep a reminder, no computer to flash one for you and no secretary to ask, "Sir did you wind your clock today?" You just did it."

Before reading further down just ponder for a while and you will surely be navigated to deeper strata of thoughts and then you'll be able to easily connect to what I felt.


What was it we had I wonder that made us do things automatically; and the answer comes fast and sure, as I grin to myself, we had clockwork!
Life went about with the precision of a ticking clock: You got up on time with no alarm to wake you, went about getting ready, ate your breakfast, packed your school bag, walked to the bus stop, caught the bus along with the rest of the crowd, reached on time, listened to the teacher, came home, did your home work, played a little, read, ate and went to sleep.
Somewhere between you saw your busy mom and dad, who had their own schedules and lives to lead, a lot to do with earning enough to putting you through school and college. But life went on like clock work, only difference being you had to give it the daily wind:
You put in effort you got results. You wound the key, life worked.
And then I realize and smile, maybe we need to get back to the old giving ourselves the wind days and bring a little discipline into the chaos that's a happening in today's spoon fed fastrack automatic world..!

I am confused...very confused...
...Thoughts going haywire...
I'm not only trying to figure out the reason why these thoughts are randomly disturbing me today..but also I am trying to figure out a way from this mess...

When I look back..it feels as if life started just yesterday..it feels as if I am still fighting with my parents who are dragging me to my primary school early morning..the fountain ponys on either side of the head..the handkerchief pinned up on the school dress..my small feet in those tiny black shoes...water bottle hanged in my neck..
The time I found my dear friends..the time when I pulled my parents' hands to drop me to school even on saturdays and sundays..the fun..the masti..the jokes..and ofcourse the small me..lol
Time flies like a bee..how true..I can still feel the child inside me who was endlessly pampered by her papa so much that the little girl used to throw "whatever she can find" on them...the tears which fell down the cheeks when I was scolded...and the innocent face which got my younger brother into the rough and tough hands of my parents...

The days when I enjoyed life..the days when I had no reason for not smiling..the days where everyone liked everyone..the days when everything was just so perfect...

And today when I am in a college, living far away from my family, when life's difficult, cut throat competition around and the pressure to perform well, I just sometimes wonder how would life had been if I had not had my friends with me.

Friends. A simple word isn’t it? It’s uttered everyday to almost every person imaginable. Who are your friends? I used to think that friends were the people that you could laugh and talk to. Now I know that friends aren’t that, they’re the people that touch your heart. You could spend hours with them doing nothing at all and it can be the best time of your life, just because it was with them. They’re the people you can share your secrets with, cry with, laugh with, and just have fun with. They don’t judge you or make you change. They accept you exactly as you are. They look at you and they see a great person, one they love spending time with. We all share something in common and are tied together by memories, tears, laughs and smiles. We’re tied together by love for the other. Friendship is the strangest but sweetest thing in the world. I find my time with my friends, the best times of my life. My friends are my heart, my soul, my fun, my laughter, my tears, my love and my life and their names are MEGHA and JAYA.

Thanx to you both for being in my life and loving me so much.


Now something only for them.
Because you are my friend I would do for you all that my heart and my soul and body are capable of doing. I would cry with you and share your burdens when you are down. I would laugh with you and rejoice with you when you have achieved. I would be there when you want my company and I would be gone when you do not. But do not expect perfection from me, for the day shall come when I let you down and you will be hurt. And when I let you down, it will not be because I desire to hurt you, nor because I do not still love you. It will only be because I am human and that is one frailty from which no one can escape.


I LOVE YOU TWO A LOT :)

My Trip to agra...

It was 25th june and my main exams were to begin from 27th. So i was all determined, cleaned my messy table and sat down for studies very seriously. I was a little heavyhearted as my mother had informed me the same morning that my maternal relatives were coming for their vacations to jhansi (my hometown). Now here, it is important to inform that I have many cousins (approx 6), all nearly of the same age and so there is a lot of attachment amongst us. AND all of them were coming for VACATIONS and I was supposed to be here, at bhopal, burning the midnight oil. But still, I like a sincere girl was studying earnestly.



1:15pm and it was lunch time. I went to the mess only to find everyone talking about the postponement of the exams. Again there's one more thing to add here. Two of my friends had planned to go for holidays to north India after our exams and had booked our tickets for the date on which our exams were supposed to be getting over. I was a little abashed whether to be happy or sad. So our exams were actually postponed and were scheduled to begin on 6th july. The moment I came to know this, I seriously felt elated as I had a chance to go to jhansi and meet all my sweet cousins after a long span of time. Quickly I called my mumma and informed her about this state of affairs and she was at that moment, perhaps, one of the happiest human beings on planet earth.

The next day I left for jhansi and was welcomed there by a throng. We went to a park and then ate dinner outside in a nice little restaurant. The same night I was online, busy in a live webcam chat with my roomies, Jaya and Megha, when suddenly Jaya started missing me and said that she wants to come to jhansi. In just half an hour we decided that she will be coming the next day.

Now jhansi is in UP and there is electricity crisis. So I like a honest girl called Jaya up at morning 6:00am and informed her about this huge problem but then she was sooooo determined to come that she actually came all the way from bhopal to jhansi just because she missed me a lot in one single day. I and my brothers went to receive her at the railway station and she hugged me soooo tightly that I felt we have met after ages.

This is our pic outside jhansi railway station :P
Isn't she a sweetheart???


Not only her behaviour till now and her pic makes her a sweetheart but also the way in which she mingled with my family and became one of us very very very quickly.
Now began a very short yet a beautiful vacation. We were so many in number that our house resembled the one of marriage.

We went to the fort of Rani Laxmi Bai ("khoob ladi mardani wo to jhansi wali rani thi"),we went shopping, I took them to my school (the school which made Pankhuri Shrivastava)and trust me it was a jubilant atmosphere everywhere.



Then we went to agra...We were 12 people and we went in a tata safari...this in itself was audacious as we were sooooooo many...he he bt all good.
We went to datia, a temple visit in the morning itself (we saw the shringar of deviji)...and then finally TAJ MAHAL.

It was hot but we couldn't help admiring the beauty of the monument.The postcard picture of Taj Mahal does not adequately convey the legend, the poetry and the romance that shroud what Rabindranath Tagore calls "a teardrop on the cheek of time". The Taj certainly has a chaste poise and spiritual hauteur that makes it seem not completely of this world. Different people have different views of the Taj but it would be enough to say that the Taj has a life of its own that leaps out of marble, provided you understand that it is a monument of love. As an architectural masterpiece, nothing could be added or subtracted from it.

Captivated by the beauty and chastity of the Taj we left for jhansi and played a terrific game of rapid fire on our way back which became so pugnacious that we were forced to end it by the elders with us.

Enervated, we reached late at night and all went off to sleep. Next day we were to leave so all were a little gloomy but then we two had exams to look forward to so it was all "jao khelo" (Jaya's patent dialogue) type for us. So we came back very happy only to realize that I left my new sandals and a book in the train which made me sad (i m still feeling sad thinking about it) but then when you have Jaya to say "ohhh baby" and "jao khelo" things do not seem that bad. Thanks jaya for being there always and being so lovable and loving toooo.

Love you sweetheart...will always remember the way you came running after me because you missed me (like a boy madly in love) LOL...


PANKHURI :)