Tuesday, July 30, 2013

All we are is contradiction!

I am a person of contradiction. Actually we all are but here I can just speak for myself. 
I call myself an ambivert. Sometimes I can't be happier than being in the company of a group of people. I face no problems in having conversations and usually come out as a social person. But within a fraction of an hour I feel like running away from that group, find a place that I can call my den, just think about whatever I want to think. I struggle in starting a conversation and despite being taken as a social person, 8 out of 10 times I fail to build a long term friendship/relationship.
This confuses me everytime.
There are days when I just grab my purse and leave the house for nowhere. Usually I end up in a crossword, cuddled in a corner with some random, unheard book. Today in one of these "date with myself" visits I was having a pretty successful date. Read a quarter of "Growing up Bin Laden" and had a juice and munchies. Extremely satisfied with my lone trip I was on my way back when coming down the escalator I saw a man in Gloria Jeans, sitting alone, reading a book. 10 tables around him were occupied and none of the occupants were alone, except him. Three floors down, I couldn't help turning my eyes from him. A zillion of thoughts ran through my mind. The one that struck me was "Oh! Poor man. He is sitting alone. Doesn't he have anyone to give him company?" I was shocked to hear my thoughts! I wanted to reprimand Miss Pankhuri Shrivastava's thoughts. But chose to remind her that she was also alone, reading a book and sipping juice. She has been blessed with good friends but she was doing so by choice.
This surprises me everytime
People choose different things. Sometimes their actions mirror your actions but if you are not wearing that dress at that time you prefer to criticize it. And this makes me think we are so complicated. Everything in the world except humans can be defined by a definition but for humans the definition changes for every different person. A far more complex issue is that even for one person the definition changes every minute.
Sometimes I want life to be simple but at other times I love the complexity.
This amuses me eveytime.
In short, life is all about Confusion, Surprises and Amusement.
At peace for now

2 Obiter dicta:

Anonymous said...

Starts with Mood Swings but ends with a Amusement ;)

abhimir said...

Ambivert, interesting, I have often thought of myself as being the same.
Good post, write more.


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